Sunday, 9 August 2015

THE AFTER UNI BLUES

Now I'm not sure about you other graduates out there, but the life after uni appears to be one of freedom, excitement, new experiences and great things to come your way, because after all, you now have a DEGREE. Its no secret that once you graduate, it seems every one on the face of the planet seems to ask the mundane question of, 'So what are your plans now?' 

SIGHHH... I DONT KNOW, okay? I honestly don't. I mean, I've always planned to take internships, junior or assistant positions in art directing, styling, cosmetics, branding, social media - all the things I love. However, theres always two massive barrier that gets in my way - my bank balance, and my self esteem. I never have and never will be one of those university students who has a mummy and daddy to pay for their round the world travelling trip, including every type of excursion programme available for a year after graduating, neither will I ever be the type of person who fights and fights through all the bitchy competition at a company with shit pay, shit rules and that you have little to no chance at working for anyway - its just not me (lol, some Fashion student I am ay). 

Reverting back to my bank balance, I always feel like even if I have a substantial amount, it will never be enough to back me up if something goes wrong. I've been brought up in such a way that if something goes financially wrong in life, I have to sort it out myself. This has its peaks and troughs - Independent money making women - yay! Scared to do anything incase I'm left with no money - booo. I sometimes have these images of myself in a 1* hostel in Mexico somewhere with no money, no shower and a creepy man that sleeps in the corner - I'm pretty sure I'd have a melt down. 
Anyway, I'm just so fed up of the grand expectations that are expected from us graduates, not to mention the phrase 'welcome to real life'. UMM.. hi, I haven't been living under a fucking rock for the past 3 years. If anything from what I've experienced so far, my university life, balanced along side part time work, was way more stressful, way more energy and time consuming, not to mention it hurting my brain a lot from all the work. Now university is over, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one left wondering what the fuck I do now. Get the experience with little to no pay? work a mind numbing job to make yourself super focused on what you actually want to do (aka, get the fuck out ASAP), be a travelling wanker? Maaaan, its all so difficult. 

After being ill for so long all I want to do now is be liberated and enhanced by some cool experience or meeting new people, but instead I just feel stuck, and bombarded - a bloody stupid feeling if you ask me. If I could give anyone a message from this rant (soz) it would be, to just stop this expectation that surrounds recent graduates, I'm guilty of doing it myself last year - 'I wonder what blabla's doing now, still working at Accessorize? awkward.' I regret that so much now, if you're having fun, earning a bit of money, whats the harm? I can't shake this feeling of people judging me constantly - 'A whole degree and she works THERE?' Maybe its just me, but we will get there I'm sure. Weird rant over ha!

xo