Monday, 26 January 2015

STAY FOCUSED, 2015

Long time no blog - as per usual. *guilty*
I just felt like writing a post this evening. After doing uni work all day, I thought I'd have a little break to blog. I've been thinking about writing this kind of post for a while now but a lot of blogs out there say the same thing - advice you could say, over and over again, but ah well!

The start of this year has been such a whirlwind for me, and instead of feeling my usual revitalised self come new year, (I am a keen New Year, New Me fan) I just felt a little deflated and quite frankly exhausted with the whole commotion of Christmas and New Year. For most "normal" families, Christmas and New Year is a time for family games round the fire, loud music and getting drunk with close relatives. Without sounding all *get the violin out*, my Christmas and New Year never really pans out this way. I usually spend my Christmas' latching on to friends or boyfriends due to my own family being so spread out. This year, my mum had a break up around Christmas time that effected her badly. Managing with this has had a massive effect on my personal energy levels, as well as causing masses of stress to my everyday life. Dealing with a manic depressive family member, can prove very difficult - especially while living in the same space. I find blogs tend to shy away from the subject of mental illness because it can make their posts sound depressing or needy, however I feel like its something that needs to be addressed, especially when you're not actually the one with depression! I thought I'd do a little write up of things I currently do, or aim to do in the new year to help with my own happiness and well being - in the hope they help you too :-)

1. Be Yourself
As cliche as that might sound, there is always enough time in the world to be yourself - Generally I am quite a happy, upbeat and fairly confident girl, I get passionate about living life to the full and keeping busy. Sometimes it can be hard to express yourself when you live with someone that is constantly bringing you down with negative energy, thoughts, and conversations. Its almost as though because they are angry or sad, you should be too. My advice is to listen to what they have to say and help in a way you see fit, but to prevent arguments or upset for both parties, constantly have things to do or places to be to - this is YOUR life, so don't feel guilty about living it - even if that means cutting a conversation short that you've heard and tried to help with, 4 times already this week. Plus, if that person can see that you are motivated and battling through life's ups and downs, it may encourage them to, too. 


2. Cry
Cry in bed, cry in the shower, cry slumped in your dressing gown at 2pm in the afternoon - Crying can be a great relief of stress and lets admit, we all feel better after a good cry. Sometimes after just a simple conversation - or one way shouting match - I find myself coming to cry in my bedroom, not because I am sad or upset by the conversation, but because listening alone has purely drained me. I find having a good cry followed by listening to some good music can be a great cure. 


3.  Do something creative
For me at the moment, being creative completely revolves around my uni work, but I'm trying to change this - Seeing as I suffer from eczema and a wheat/dairy intolerance, I am trying out new recipes that can help aid the detoxing of my body, that in turn will hopefully calm my eczema down, and therefore relieve stress - phew! Sometimes I find getting out my nail varnishes and trying an especially challenging design, or doing some drawing/painting really helps me focus on one thing and forget whats going on around me. Some people may find this sense of calm in exercise or cooking for example, find what works for you and use it as a form of escapism. 


4. Read more
This is almost a personal goal for me, once I get into a good book - I love reading. I love getting immersed in the stories and relating to the characters. Sounds super strange, but I've always found whenever I've been through relationship break ups, or a hard time with a partner - reading helps me the most when it comes to taking your mind away from negative thoughts. 


5. Create a space for YOU
All that know me, lets be honest, my room can be an absolute shit tip (clothes spill out of my wardrobe, paperwork consumes my entire desk, and shoes and necklaces appear anywhere and everywhere.) I am a messy person by nature, but also a clean one. Messy but clean... yeah. I like to dust and wipe down my bedroom once a week as well as vacuum, cleaning can make you feel happy and accomplished (I find), so doing it often in a place you spend most of your time in, is always a good idea. My bedroom is my sanctuary. A lot of people like to sit in their lounge or communal areas of the house - but as lonerish as it sounds, I love being alone or with my boyfriend/friend in my bedroom. Fairy lights on, fresh sheets on my bed, candle lit, fresh flowers on my desk, and a good film - I. am. sold. Creating somewhere you feel you can escape *life* - if you like, is always worth the time and effort. 


6. Tit for Tat
I sometimes feel that arguing is a main contribution to my general household, shouting happens on a daily basis, and stress makes its way around the house from the hours of approximately 7am-5pm, (5pm - my mum lights the fire, curls up with the cat and my brother plays his Xbox, its all very calm from 5pm onwards, I must say). I live with two very argumentative people, and whatever the logic, situation or cause - you are ALWAYS wrong. (haha) By nature I am a very all or nothing person when it comes to disagreements, I either let it go completely - nod, agree and 'mhmm' a lot, or I just explode (usually with frustration) - feeding the stress levels of the house hold even more.  My advice to reasoning with an unreasonable person, is the classic - *count to 10* method. Arguing shouldn't be about tit for tat, and neither should favours - the past year I have learnt a lot about favours, helping people out and being selfless when it comes to doing a good deed. Doing good brings good, and thats all I have to say on that matter! 


7. Walk outdoors
Walking and experiencing the outdoors is my favourite pass time, take me to a woodland walk any day and I'm happy. Feeling the fresh air in your lungs and the sun on your face is a feeling of freedom you can't beat.  


anywho, thanks for taking the time to read - well done if you made it this far! haha. I just felt like I had to release some thoughts you know! Hopefully my next post will be something a little more creative and exciting! 
Madi xo